Stressed

 I'm very stressed right now. My wife asked if we can go for a holiday in Langkawi. It's like an advanced 30 year wedding anniversary. We got married on Friday, the 13th of December, 1996.

I've said many, many times to her I can't travel anymore. I hate going on holidays. I hate the hassle of it all. I do not see a point in it. And I really, really don't like it.

But the main reason why is because I really don't have the money to be going on a holiday. I keep telling her it's really tough for me as I have to save money for a few investments/projects right now. I just have too many things to pay for. I am trying my best to spend as little as possible. I even skip meals if I have to.

Then she'll say "ok, then no need.". AND SHE'LL ASK AGAIN IN A FEW DAYS OR A WEEK OR SO!

I'm not angry at her. I would love to give her what she wants. I love her so very much. But I just can't do it with money I don't have. I'm already very stressed thinking about how I'm going to be able to manage to save money in time for the upcoming show. I've committed to contribute $5k for it and as hard as I try, I could hardly save much each month because there are other expenses/ investments I've committed to along the way.

I don't think she understands how I feel right now. She will say just say no. No need to get so worked up. Well then stop asking! It's stressing me out! I hate this feeling!