Had a dangerous meeting yesterday at the store with 2 old friends - Zahid and Bob. Zahid was the last to reach. He had told me earlier he needed to go home first after his funeral job to take a shit. So when he arrived I asked if he took a shit and what took him so long? He said he needed to get plastic. So then I said "Kau berak dalam plastik?", which basically means you took a shit in a plastic bag? Then we laughed at how absurd it was.
The conversation got dragged to how to properly take a shit in plastic. Once we got that figured out - yes we actually did a group study and analysis plus discussion on what would work best (because at our age there really isn't much else to think about) - we spoke about this present, weak generation like a bunch of grumpy old men. As it turns out, we can't stand them. Not all, of course. But a large majority of them. My kids are safe. Because they are my kids. Other people's kids can go to hell.
I remember telling them how much I hated it when people say "Emotional abuse hurts more than physical abuse.". Everytime I hear this, in my head I'm thinking "How about you let me emotionally abuse you for 5 minutes and then on round 2, I punch your face for 5 minutes then you tell me which one hurts more? Mafaka, you would probably be unconscious or dead by then to tell me which one hurts more. So shut the fuck up already. Emotional abuse hurts more, bitch!
Last thing that came up was a hot favourite, Kitaro. It was a theory I thought of on many sleepless nights. The theory was that it doesn't take much for people to assume that you are a versatile music listener. All you ever need is fucking Kitaro in your album collection. You can have a vast collection of different genres but if you don't have Kitaro, you're just not versatile, yet.
Versatility quiz:-
Collection 1: NAPALM DEATH, METALLICA, KING CRIMSON, NIGHTWISH, BAD RELIGION, GREEN DAY, KATE BUSH, TOM WAITS, BLACK FLAG, BURZUM, MAYHEM, KENDRICK LAMAR, RUN DMC, UJI RASHID, BLACK DOG BONE, PAUL SIMON & ART GARFUNKEL, TOTO, CHICK COREA, LEFTHANDED, STRYPER, MADONNA, BEYONCE, INXS, RICK ASTLEY, STAR WARS OST
Collection 2: SEARCH, WINGS, VAN HALEN, DEF LEPPARD, KITARO
Collection 3: Just KITARO. Nothing else.
One of the 3 collections is not versatile. And that would be collection 1. Because it doesn't have KITARO.
And at this very moment, I've just sadly realised that most of my friends (and myself too) are not versatile fans of music. We listen to just about anything under the sun but we don't listen to KITARO. HOO!! AHH!!
